How to Start Dating After a Divorce

start dating again

After years of living with the same person, you now suddenly find yourself alone and lonely. You are overwhelmed by the thought of dating other people. And, there are no longer as many available partners as there were when you were younger.

Studies show that as we become older, the lesser we date. It is true that most divorced men and women do not want to date anymore. But for some who want to don’t know how to start dating again. If you are one of these helpless people, read on and be enlightened.

When will I be ready?

All of us have the need for intimacy. You might feel a sense of loss after your divorce. And by dating someone again, you are able to fill the gap. Before you start any relationship, give yourself time to absorb the fact that you are single again. The amount of time differs from each person since each situation is unique. Don’t compare yourself to other people as this will only bring painful feelings and can lower self-esteem. As a general rule, wait 6 up to 12 months before you start seeing other people. Use this time to get closer to your children and reestablish yourself. When you feel that everything is in order then you can begin searching for love.

How can I attract suitable partners?

Believe it or not, there are many out there who are in the search for partners as you are now. So, how can you catch the attention of suitors and differentiate those who you can spend a lifetime with from those who are just looking for fun.

First, set a dating standard for yourself. This standard, or ‘social price’ as one may call it, is determined by how much you have to offer and anticipate in return. Your social price is characterized by the ability to bring about attractive traits like kindheartedness, inner strength, intellect, and fondness to a relationship. The higher you have to present, the higher you expect in return, thus raising your social price.

People often search for unseen traits that are reflected through actions, words, and body language. So, if you want to attract more people, be confident in what you do. Don’t hesitate to turn down a date for fear that you will not find someone else. Be firm about your dating standards, because you would want them to see you as someone who can be a suitable marriage partner. On the other hand, calling a partner excessively or agreeing on doing intimate activities hastily shows that you are insecure and desperate.

Where can I meet great partners?

Going to bars and night clubs is alluring because it seems like an awesome place to meet your next partner. But sometimes, you end up meeting someone who doesn’t have the same interests as you. As a result, the relationship tends to be boring and doesn’t last long.

Instead, think of an activity or hobby that you like doing. For example, hiking, bike trips, or anything that perks up your interest. By doing so, you are able to meet people who are personally satisfying to you. By engaging in activities that you love, you will not feel disappointed even if you haven’t met someone that day.

If you are set up on blind dates, meet on places that are neutral such as restaurants or coffee shops. These places exhibits less pressure and expectations compared to meetings on someone’s home. Other great places to meet people are charity events, vacations, or wine tasting events. The things that connects the both of you makes your relationship will be exciting and gratifying at the same time.

Confidence is the key

What to do on dates?

Going on dates is nerve-wracking especially if it’s your first after a long period of time. The first thing that you have to remember is to be confident. Confidence is the key to reeling in that great guy. The following are tips that are helpful for you on your dates.

  • Don’t compare this relationship from the previous one - A newly divorced woman tends to focus on the negative things that had happened in her previous relationship. As a result, she fails to see the good in her new partner. Remember, the person in front of you is a whole different man than the one you were with.
  • Be discreet - Often, we make the common mistake of divulging too much information about ourselves on the first date. By doing so, you intimidate your partner. Talk about common interests. Casually ask questions about your partner without making it seem like you’re doing an investigation. You would want to make sure that your partner will be able to handle the complexity of your situation before you make any commitment.
  • Don’t be too hasty - Allowing relationships to proceed to fast only leads to a mess. Most divorced women fear that they will not find another guy that they overlook the signs that say ‘this is not right’. So, take your time getting to know your partner well before you move on in the relationship.
  • It’s okay not to talk about your kids - Your children are a sensitive issue when it comes to dating. You may choose to talk about them or not during your dates. If your partner asks about them, you can either answer or redirect the conversation. However, don’t pretend that you don’t have kids just so you can date.

Basically, you just really want to have fun when you meet new people. Let yourself enjoy their company but don’t rush things and take it slow. Be smart about dating and trust your intuition. Finding then next great guy is not an easy task. But with patience and confidence, you will surely find that special someone who will make your heart skip a beat once more.

To find great people, you can go to www.craigslist.org or visit www.meetup.com.

Visit www.topdatingtips.com for more information about dating and online dating sites.

 




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