If you are a single parent and prepared to start new relationships after divorce, you have unique concerns since dating after divorce can be difficult and even disagreeable especially for single parents who already have kids. First, determining whether if you are really prepared for new relationship can be difficult then after you have determined it, you still have to consider how will that new relationship of yours will affect your kids and also, you have to consider whether the moment is right for them. Going through the sadness and improvement procedure can keep a person cleared psychologically. Feeling that you have recovered to start new relationships is actually an indication that you are becoming healthier to start a new life again; whatever you choose, keep in mind that dealing with suffering that everyone goes through which includes you is important before engaging into new relationships, what was right for a friend of yours may not be the same strategy that’s right for you; but there are some procedures you can take to make yourself ready as well as your kids.
Decide whether you are ready for a new relationship
It is best for you to start dating if you felt that dating again will somehow bring direction to your life. Helping yourself to recover after the misery that divorce has brought you brings you the opportunity to recreate your life. It may not the thing you choose but it is definitely the thing you need to adjust with; and dating someone new may be a part of that new life. But as much as possible, do not take dating as your first step but instead, spend much of your time to discover who you are and what you want in life and, possibly, what relationship you want to start.
Feeling angry that you can’t even keep anything that is good about your ex clearly indicates that you are not yet ready to date and start new relationship again. You should put dating on hold until you are already knowledgeable to the variety of adverse emotions that has something to do with pain; which includes shame, anger, solitude, depressive disorders and denial for the fact that it is not practical to anticipate that your feelings of rage should completely be gone before you start dating again.Decide to date again if you have already talked about your desires to engage in new relationships with your children. This is very important since your kids has somehow the rights to know that you are considering new relationship again and that they need to express their ideas about it and even any sadness and disappointment about it freely! This doesn’t mean you have to get their permission but your kids are entitled to the concern of a discussion on the problem.
It is best of you do not start a new relationship when your divorce is not yet final; this is not just for the sake of your kids which are still in the process of accepting the fact that you are really having a divorce but also to protect yourself to use it against you in the court while in the process of making your separation to be legal.
Decide whether to introduce your kids to the new person you date
The best time to introduce your kids to the one you are currently dating with is when the time you are so sure that the relationship you are presently in is at the serious stage of the relationship for you not to have difficulty in dividing your time for your kids and to the person you date.
Some single parents introduce their kids to all of their friends without detailing about their new relationships. By means of this, it somehow allows kids to have social connections with other people and meet anyone. However, choosing this strategy makes you to be sure to discuss and share it with your new date since your actions may have slight changes when you are in front with your kids and this will also prepare your date so that you won’t be misinterpreted.
Regardless of which strategy you take, be sure to discuss things to your kids about you having the desire to engage in new relationships again so that whatever happens, things won’t make them to be shocked. Here are some parenting sites that may be useful for you.
- Single Parent Success Foundation aims to provide support to single parents who desire to attain higher education to be able to receive better paying jobs. Visit www.singleparentsuccess.org
- For single parent support program that aims to create opportunity for single parents to thrive on their own, visit www.weconnectyou.ca
- For parenting education and support, visit Solutions for America, Healthy families and children at www.solutionsforamerica.org
- Single Parent Resource Center provides programs and services for single parents and for their families. Visit www.singleparentusa.com
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