Many single mothers struggle financially and experience high levels of stress and depression. Their children are at higher risk of emotional problems as well as failure in academics and develop social problems. Single mothers handle many obligations such as financial obligation, housekeeping, and being a mother or father. In addition, they lack encouraging partner to turn to for advice, collaboration, and comfort. The pressure in the woman’s life and the way she offers with it also affects her kid. Single mothers may come in contact with tremendous pressure due to the need to provide the economical needs of the family simultaneously with looking after for the home as well as those obligations that are typically assumed by men, obtaining new abilities, and nurturing, all at the same time.  The shame of being a single mother is not only having the worries of what people might say or think about you as a single mother but also the burden to the society for living on social assistance; if you are not a part of a two-parent working family, you are worth less than the others — Single mothers on assistance often felt they are useless. 

 

Getting over people’s false impression and opinion as a single mother

“She decided to be a single mother from the beginning” – this can be true for some single mothers. Some choose to have a child without the worry of the irritation and headache that may come; perhaps they just wanted to have their autonomy in raising their child in their own values. This may be true to some but usually, most mothers who choose to raise their child on their own is in a financial situation to do so, seldom, they are single mothers you witness on social assistance. “She prefer to leave the father, it’s her problem!”- This is true in some cases except for “it’s her problem”. Society today still turns a shaded eye to the abuse that may be happening within a family’s home. The society refers abuse to physical aspect only, but definitely, emotional, psychological and yes! Sexual abuse may happen to a couple who are in a relationship; by any means, the woman may leave an abusive relationship and that certainly do not make it as “her problem” so the impression of her being a “burden to the society” is already put upon her as she tries to run off the abuse. Another is “she must live with it” or “the her partner leave her” – if the father leaves, there is no other option for the mother but to continue being the primary care giver and find a way to provide the family what they need. Others are “are those kids are of the same father?” “She must be lazy, she has no inspiration” – all horrible judgments branded to a single mother who tries hard to get up. Others do not understand how hard it is for a single mother to live on such pathetic social assistance.

The feeling of anger and depression

“Why stuck with the responsibility of the child all the time?” – The stress of being a single parent and the stress of living in scarcity added with the stress of keeping an eye for the kids can be equal to a disorder much of the time. The anger to yourself oftentimes is forwarded to the children because you cannot control the facet of your life anymore. “How to get this month’s expenses?” – As working single parents, get a loan, borrow from somebody or approach a bank loan for credit. Single parents find it hard especially when the time comes upon paying the bills and the feeling of fright, misery and helplessness were mixed, and again, relying on the aid organization of others will come in just to make it all the way through. All of these and a lot more gives profound depression, feelings of helplessness and crucial self hate with no pride left when looking for support to single mothers.

Shame and Guilt

“You are competent of working, why wouldn’t you?” – Maybe, you don’t have the learning that is suited for a job that will pay you an adequate amount of to get off yourself from welfare and live a life paying for everything. “Can’t you take care for it on your own?” – An expression that bring to mind the feeling of guilt and shame. Something would have been said but without choice, admit that you are on social support, the shame and guilt of feeling being a trouble in the society. “Ok, here’s the cash, but it should be a lesson for you next time” – Soliciting for help is somehow embarrassing and tremendously hard. The feeling of guilt comes in knowing you will ask for it again next time when you badly need it.

Here are some of links and contact info that will help you on your journey being a single mom: