Mistakes that Single Parents Should Avoid in Raising Children

Children out of wedlock

Being a single parent can never be an easy life. Children out of wedlock often question their mothers, since it is usually the women who experience these instances, why they do not have fathers like their neighborhood kids, friends, and classmates. Questions will always crop why their father left them. Is it because they are not beautiful or handsome? Is it because they are not intelligent or strong? These issues will always crop up. Aside from that, the time allocated for children, work, and self, are restricted and inadequate. Since there is no one to help and evaluate them on how single parents raising  children, are  mistakes are made, which are detrimental to the children’s growth and development.

Some Common Mistakes of Single Parents

In order to resolve questions and issues immediately, lying and scaring are always the tactics used by parents, single or otherwise. Little children often accept lies as the truth. However, since such ideas have been ingrained in their minds, this will be carried on and will be hard to refute. Children will, also, no longer believe what parents say. Because of the busy schedule, single parents often neglect their children. Using the work as an excuse. Although it is understandable that single parents have to work hard in order to give quality lifestyle raising children, keep in mind that children need constant love, reassurance, and guidance. Failures in these aspects result in children seeking the support of their peers instead. Most of the times, peers often lead people towards illicit and dangerous activities.

There are single parents who become too obsessed with the idea that children might commit mistakes in their life; therefore, they become perfectionists – expecting that their children will never fail. This puts a heavy burden on children which will eventually break them, which leads to various possible consequences. For example, they will rebel against their parents and join illicit activities just to prove their point. Also, when children fail, they become depressed, lose their minds, and sometimes, commit suicide. Contrary to an obsessed authoritative parent, single parents sometimes commit the mistake of being too lenient. Although it is a good way to have a great relationship with children – to the point where they consider their parent a best friend – young children often take this as a signal to be too familiar, to the extent where they no longer consider their parents as people who have authorities over them.

Ways to Do Things Better

Adults advocate that telling a lie is a bad habit. So, when adults lie, children also assume that telling a lie is okay. However, lying can never be avoided. Then, it would be better to tell a  white lie instead of a full blown lie. Also, if lies can be avoided, then do so. Instead of lying and scaring children, it would be better to either appeal to their pity, or better yet, use discipline and other authoritative methods. Rapport and a close relationship between children and parents and among family members are important aspects in life. These aspects can only develop during quality times spent with the family. These moments need not happen in amusement parks and other places. Even at home, during household chores, parents and children can bond together. For example, a parent can ask her child to wash the dishes along with her, and, during this time, they talk about school and other topics. Better yet, although some places abhor it, discussions can happen over dinner.

Ways to Do Things Better

Making mistakes can never be avoided in life. Instead of requesting children to be perfect, it would be better to guide them towards a life where they would be able to settle their mistakes and correct them on their own, and, be able to avoid committing the same mistakes again. This way, they would gain the sense of responsibility of striving towards an improved way of life, and, they would be able to bounce back whenever they fail. While children are young, it is always wise to set rules and boundaries in which both children and parents can observe. For example, although there are issues where parents can be lenient, matters such as substance abuse and school issues, can never be overlooked. When necessary, children should be disciplined in order to correct them.

Make Use of Online Communities and Helps

The “Family Assessment, Counseling, &Education Services”, or F.A.C.E.S.for short, is an organization found at721 W. Kimberly Ave, Placentia, CA, 92870, US, and, can be accessed at www.facescal.org. They can also be phoned at (714) 993-2237, faxed at (714) 993-2241, and, emailed at mail@facescal.org. They offer different services, such as classes for upbringing children; sharing parenting concerns;counseling children for depression, school problems, and anger management; and, so much more.

The “Single Mothers by Choice”, or SMC for short, is an online community where single mothers and women planning to be single mothers find and share information, resources, problems, and advices. The website for this online community is www.singlemothersbychoice.org. They can be contacted at their phone line (212) 988-0993, emailed at their website, and can be mailed at PO Box 1642, New York, NY 10028. This community discusses topics about parenting, donor insemination, and, adoption. They also have forums and newsletters.

The “National Parent Helpline” is a helpline accessible at www.nationalparenthelpline.org. This organization is operated by the “Parents Anonymous® Inc.”. Parents in need of emotional support and advices can call their line at 1-855-427-2736, which is available Mondays through Friday from 10 AM PST to 7 PM PST. For media inquiries, Meryl Levine should be emailed at mlevine@parentsanonymous.org, and, for general inquiries, email at info@nationalparenthelpline.org.


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