Single Mother: How to Fight Loneliness
How to Fight Loneliness
A lot of women became single because of several factors. These factors include the death of a husband or partner, abandonment, divorce or by choice. Single mothers experience many difficulties and challenges. And one of them is loneliness.
What is loneliness?
The word loneliness has countless meanings. It is often associated with misery, emptiness, bleakness and yearning. You may be lonely when you sense that you don’t share a common bond with the people that surround you. And, you think that you are disconnected from others. When you believe that no one is there to support you and care for you. In addition, you are aware that you don’t have friends or a companion. You also feel sad or depressed being alone in a room. Furthermore, you feel abandoned and left out. Lastly, you find yourself unable to create intimate relationships with someone.
Why do single mothers become lonely?
A single mother is exposed to loneliness most of the time especially when they are dedicate themselves to working and taking care of children. She focuses the majority of her time and energy on providing for her kids that she often neglects her own needs. She no longer socializes with others and hang-out with her friends. Loneliness can also occur to a woman who just experienced death of a husband and is unable to overcome her grief. She stays on being depressed and passive that all other things seem pointless to her. She has no energy to make bonds with people or even her own children and family. She spends the rest of her days contemplating on her loss until she wakes up one morning realizing that she is alone. And also, single mothers long for someone who will take care of them, be there when they need someone to turn to, and fulfill her needs emotionally and physically.
How to fight loneliness
Loneliness is a completely normal feeling. However, it can greatly affect the lives of a single mother, her children and the people around her. If ignored and left unnoticed, it can lead to serious problems. Combating loneliness is difficult. It needs patience and perseverance. You also need people who will be there to aid you in the process. The following are ways that a single mother can do in order to fight loneliness.
- Love thy self – Often times, single mothers forget that they have needs, too. Meet your physical needs by eating right, exercising daily, and maintaining a healthy body. There are certain chemicals in the body that raises your mood. Also, communicate with yourself. Stand in front of a mirror and talk to your reflection. Ask about what you are feeling. This may look silly, but it offers a way for you to know yourself. Communicating with yourself enables you to learn your limitations and develop your strengths. Loving yourself first makes it possible for you to fully love someone else.
- Know that you are not alone – Sometimes, being lonely is merely a state of mind. That what you perceive is not entirely a reality. You just fail to appreciate the people around her. You don’t realize that a lot of them want to help you. Widen your perspective and find the people that love you and care for you. In doing so, you begin to establish connections with those that surrounds you.
- Build a strong relationship with your children – Your children are the ones who are closest to you. They contain a part of you and you all live under the same roof. Working mothers are too absorbed in their work that they forget to spend time with their kids. Establishing a strong relationship with your child is fairly easy. Eat together during meals and ask your children about their day. Be sincere about it and make sure that you are genuinely interested in their lives. On the other hand, talk to them about your day, too. Sharing is a two-way process. They’ll open up to you if you open up yourself to them. Be sincere about it and show that you are genuinely interested in their lives. Relationships need time and effort. Persevere and you will receive good results.
- Be closer to your friends and family ¬ Your family and friends are the important components of your support system. They are willing to help you in times of trouble. They are there to support you when you are down, and guide you when you are in doubt. There are many ways for you to do in order to get closer to them. You can organize gatherings during the holidays. Make sure that you plan these ahead of time. Ask the help of a family or friend when planning your party. Not only does this make the work easier, but it creates bonds, too.
- Be open to dating – Single mothers usually abolish the possibility of dating other men. It is because of many factors that stop them from considering this option. One example is not having enough time to seek out potential partners or to entertain suitors. Another is the fear that her children won’t accept that man. Others simply find it very difficult to find men who are willing to accept her and her children. Discover the ideal man is no easy task. Ask your friends for referrals or seek out men who have undergone similar circumstances.
- Explore the world and socialize – Some women spend their days cooped up in their home. The closest thing they have to exploring is going to the groceries. They are missing a whole lot of opportunities by doing so. Therefore, go outside and experience what the world has to offer. Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. Visit places alone or with your friends and family. Create a hobby or join a group. Meet new people and mingle with others. Who knows, you might find that special someone who will warm up your cold nights and fill in your empty heart.
Finding Strength as Single Mothers: Employment, Grants and Medi-Care
Finding Strength as Single Mother
Is single parenthood impossible? Well, the answer to that is an all-resounding “no!” as there are several effective tips on how to carry on as a single parent. Read on and find out how you can take care of yourself and attend to the needs of your child all at the same time.
Being a single mom has a number challenges and it can be tough. But if you are well informed and know your options then you can easily overcome these challenges. The website www.projectsinglemoms.com offers a lot of opportunities for single mothers so feel free to browse through.Single mothers are the primary caregiver and in most cases, the sole breadwinner of the family. If you are a single mother, you will need additional support when it comes to your expenditures because for most moms, their income is not adequate to provide the needs of their family.
Most programs and grants demand a lot of documentation and records to establish your eligibility and so getting ready and organizing your documents ahead of time can be very beneficial. A caseworker will be assigned to you and help you with your application. He or she will provide you a list of documents that you have to fulfill. In general, candidates are provided at least ten days to process these records. After completing the necessary papers, you will be instantly informed if you meet the requirements for the program and from this point onward; the updates will be supplied to you via mail. It is essential to process your application at a quick pace. The faster, the less hassle you will face.Submitting an application for financial state support is the cleverest step to take but the entire procedure can be frustrating for your part.
Job Opportunities
The most flexible careers include public relations, sales, real estate and health care. As an additional bonus, employees who work in those career fields have the possibilities to create reasonable earnings. Single mothers shouldn’t be self mindful throughout the interview. There are a number of ways to kindly learn if the potential employer permits its staff to perform their job from home and modify their schedule in accordance to their child care demands. It should be the first concern that should be tackled during an interview. If you are not comfortable questioning the job interviewer, consult someone else inside the company.
A well paying and accommodating job in health care is to be a physical therapist. Physical therapists establish their hours based to what the patient needs and there are a lot of offices that makes it possible for them to work part-time. This site is extremely helpful for single parents who are looking for a job (http://asingleparents.com/).
Single Mother Scholarships
Institutions and organizations provide scholarships in your own area. This link provides all the scholarships and schools in the United States. (http://singleparents.about.com/od/adulteducation/a/scholarships_us.htm). Why is there a need to get a degree anyway? Nowadays, more education is equal to higher earnings so it is investing so you can get better opportunities and ultimately, provide a better future for your child or children.
Help from Friends and Family
Help from Friends and Family
Single parenthood can be overwhelming for a person. It is then important to realize that you cannot do this alone. You can always seek help from your parents as they know what you are going thorough better than anyone else. You can even gain strength from a network of friends who can lend a hand and even take care of your child just to give you few moments of rest. If you have an at-least civil relationship with the child’s other parent, you can even have your former partner help as they have the same responsibility to the child as you have.
The requirements of Single parenthood can be tough but it can be bearable. You only need to draw from every strength that you can muster and follow these tips on how to carry-on as a single parent to heart. In time, you shall be able to take care of your child and assume an active part in their growth and development.
Available Housing For Single Moms
Getting qualified for mortgage. The first thing that you should do is to find out what particular homeownership programs are obtainable for you in your state. To accomplish this, you need to check out the website of the local housing authority of your state. You can find all you need to know through this web link www.phada.org. A housing counselor will help you a lot also. He or she can answer all of your inquiries about the home-buying process.
HUD has properties for sale in every state in America. Visit the following web link to search available properties in your state. (http://www.hudhomestore.com/Home/Index.aspx).
Medical Assistance
More information is found at www.medicaid.gov.Individuals who are more than 65 years old are not qualified for this assistance. Pregnant women, low income families, children below 19 years old, and, caretakers of a minor child, may avail this service provided that the applicants qualify at the stated federal poverty level, which is 133%. Also, caretakers must be related by blood to the children. Children should be students in a secondary school, and, deprived of parental support because of at least one parent’s death, absence from home, physical or mental incapacity, or unemployment.
The Importance of Fathers after Divorce
The Importance of Fathers after Divorce
In recent years, the US has obtained the distinction of turning into one of the world leaders in fatherless households. Presently, thirty-four percent of American youngsters live with their mother and doesn’t have a father figure in their family. Father’s are needed to keep the family out of poverty. In recent surveys, father-present homes have a constant increase in the family’s income whereas father-absent families are experiencing a steady financial drop. But fathers are much more than money providers as they also strengthen the very core and foundation of the family.
One of the most significant effects a father can have on his kid is somewhat indirect. The father’s impact on their children has largely to do with the quality of their relationship with the mother of their children, even if they are divorced. A father who has a good partnership with the mother of their kids is very likely to be concerned and dedicated to devote time with their children. In effect, the children become psychologically and emotionally healthier.
The Consequences of Fatherless Households
A child who doesn’t have the support of a father has a greater risk of developing some type of mental illness and has low self-esteem. Also, kids living without fathers are very likely to commit suicide. Mental ailments revealed by children residing with a divorced mother consist of anxiety and depression. They also have a higher probability of having frequent headaches and asthma attacks.
Children tend to look for an avenue for them to discharge their feelings of betrayal and isolation when a father is absent from home. Research shows that eighty-five percent of children who have behavioral disorders do not have a dad in their homes. Kids are more likely to be subjected to gangs that offer a feeling of protection they have missed by not having a father. Children who do not have the advantage of having a solid, secure father figure inside their house are ten times more likely to resort to drugs, alcohol, tobacco and thirty-two times more probable to run away at an early age. Seventy percent of juveniles in state reform organizations grew up in single-parent families. Teenage girls are three times more likely to participate in sexual relationships before they turn fifteen and five times more likely to become a young mom.
According to a survey involving 25,000 children all over the United States, kids who live with divorced parents have a significantly lower grade point averages, lower college ambitions, weak attendance and a greater drop out rate compared to children in a two-parent family.
The Results of Divorce to Kids
Childhood abandonment can lead to behavioral issues
Children have a tendency to translate the loss of a parent following divorce as a form of desertion which they are accountable for. Childhood abandonment can lead to behavioral issues such as avoidant attachment disorder. People with avoidant attachment disorder are inclined to stay away from close relationships. They have problems with intimacy and are more probable to indulge in casual relationships than a monogamous one. They also have difficulties relying on other people and are unable to express their emotions.
The bonding process takes place in between the child and parents throughout the first five to six years of the kid’s life. The connection with the mother and father provides the child the protected groundwork they need to rely on others. When this first attachment is lacking, the child becomes emotionally unstable and will be incapable to trust others. In many cases, a divorce results to a situation in which the kid has no contact with one parent, in most cases, the father. The father may live far, moved away for work or is in a new relationship. In some cases, the mother prevents the father from getting in touch with his child. In these circumstances, the child will come to feel that he or she was abandoned by the absent father. The child may have effective male role models in their lives like uncles or older cousins. But that cannot reduce the sense of abandonment and loss the kid feels for the father.
Equal Parenting
After a divorce, most single moms will want to prove to themselves that they can do a good job in raising their kids well on their own. But moms should also keep in mind that the children will need their father, especially right after the separation. It is when the kids feel the lowest and both the mother and the father should assure the child that there are still there to give their love and undying support.
Nowadays, divorce is a reality of life for a lot of Americans but this does not mean that there will be an unfavorable effect on the children. There is usually an apparent tension among parents after divorce but every bit of effort should be made to guarantee that their children can still have an optimistic relationship with each parent. Just because the couple is divorced, it does not indicate that the kids cannot have a favorable and constructive affect from the parents. An individual’s childhood can have a big influence all throughout their life. It is always beneficial to have a mother and father that they see on a regular basis. The parents should maintain a positive example. The mother and the father are needed for the child to have a balanced upbringing so they will grow to become happy and responsible individuals.
Positive Discipline for Single Parents
Positive Discipline for Single Parents
The life of a parent, single or otherwise, is not an easy thing. Life will always have to adjust to the demands and needs of the self, family, and community. However, being a parent with a spouse is relatively easier than being a single parent. Why? This is because certain responsibilities and obligations can be divided or shared between the mother and the father, unlike the single parents who will have to be both mother and father, and, work and raise the children, at the same time. Single parenthood can happen for a variety of reasons. It could be that the spouse died. It could also be that the spouse is working in a different state or country. Also, it could be that the couple decided to separate. Lastly, it could also be that the mother (it is usually the female who has the child) decided to raise the child alone.
How Children React Having Single Parents
For situations where children have not known the other parent, they would wonder why they do not have a father. Are they unwanted by their father? This question is mostly asked by children who had their family undergone divorce or any type of legal separation. They would think they have caused the family to separate, and thus, feels guilty and depressed. At times, they would blame the mother (since it is usually the mother who is with the children) for being imperfect, and, had caused or allowed such separation to happen. Children would throw tantrums, and sometimes, rebel against the parent with them, in order to gain attention and get what they want.
Psychological and emotional manifestations also happen to children of broken families, which are closely associated with physical and behavioral manifestations. Because of such manifestations, how the children function in their lives is also affected. They lose concentration and fail in their classes. They would feel the lack of enthusiasm and strength in order to do activities which they have previously loved to do, and, so on and so forth. “Because I Love You” or BILY, is an organization committed to helping parents and troubled children. They can be contacted at (818) 884-8242 or at their website www.bily.org. They have videos, blogs, articles, an online community, and, videos, available for everyone who needs them. It is also possible to email the founder of this organization, Dennis Poncher, at [email protected], as well as the director for youth programs, David Blumberg, at [email protected]. Parents and children of all ages can also call 1-800-448-300 to seek assistance. This is the hotline of “Boys Town”, an organization offering guidance and help to connect children, parents and families. Clients, who speak Spanish and other non-English language, may call the hotline 1-800-448-1833. This hotline also has a TDD line that allows deaf and mute clients communicate with counselors. This organization can be phoned at (402) 498-1300 and faxed at (402) 498-1348. The national headquarters of Boys Town is at 14100 Crawford Street, Boys Town, NE 68010.
What Parents Should be Observing
What Parents Should be Observing
Being a singles parent has many disadvantages. One of which is not spending enough time with the children. Child psychology highlights that children need love, care, support, and guidance, in order to become adults functioning effectively in the society. This can only be given when children are reassured through having a good relationship with their parents. Of course, although parents need to have a close relationship with their children, they should also set boundaries and limitations for disciplinary purposes. Parents should also enforce that they have authority over children in order to guide them in acquiring and developing morals necessary as adults.
F.A.C.E.S., or the “Family Assessment, Counseling, & Education Services” is an organization that provides different types of supports and assistance to parents and children. For one, they have classes for parents with highlights on setting boundaries, management of stress, discipline, and developmental needs of children. They have programs for supervised exchanges, monitored visits, management of anger, and counseling. They can be contacted at (714) 993-2237 and (714) 993-2241. They can also be emailed at [email protected]. The office of this organization is situated at 721 W. Kimberly Ave, Placentia, CA, 92879, US. More information is available at www.facescal.org. The Green Bay Diocese is offering counseling programs to anyone in need of it.This is regardless of nationality, race, religious background, and ability to pay. Their counseling services are licensed, certified, and accredited. This is accredited by the Council of Services for Family and Children. This is a certified mental health clinic. Lastly, this is licensed as a child welfare agency by the State of Wisconsin. They can be contacted at (920) 272-8234. They have a toll free line at 1-877-500-3580 ext. 8234.
Welcome the Advices and Counsels of Other People
Like technology and gadgets, parenting styles and practices should also be evaluated, assessed, and changed, from time to time in order to suit the needs of the children and changes in society. With this, it is also important to communicate with other people, be they are single parents as well or not. It does not necessarily mean that advice and counsels from people should be followed. These advices and counsels merely act as a guide, and, to show the two sides of the issue. The National Parent Helpline is available at 1-855-427-2736 every weekday at 10 AM to 7 PM. They provide emotional support and advice to parents.
“Parents Without Partners” is an educational organization of single parents. They can be contacted at 1-800-637-7974, or, at their website at www.parentswithoutpartners.org. They have online chat rooms, forums, magazines, and activities for all single parents. Their office is situated at 1100-H Brandywine Blvd., Zanesville, Ohio, 43701-7303, United States.
Separation and divorce: Dealing with Misbehavior and Acting out of Children
when parents get divorce
Discipline is always a hot issue for parents, but when parents get divorce, the child’s behavior can generate larger concern. Divorce is stressful and troublesome to the lives of everyone involved. For kids the damage can be particularly extreme. In contrast to what some will say, kids, as a whole, do not handle divorce well they are expected to form powerful attachments to both mother and father, to the idea of a powerful family, as well as the idea of a mother and father together in one. A very prevalent issue for single parents is working with some acting out, generally right after the divorce and often after they’ve stayed with the other parent. Children do not misbehave or act out because they want to get into problems, they do it because they are puzzled, terrified and do not know how to communicate with their separated parents. They are somehow expecting that misbehaving and acting out; their parents can modify thoughts and get back together. While parents can’t get back together, there are still some factors that parents can do to reduce this misbehavior and acting out.
Don’t withstand the behavior
Some parents often think that the best way to get away from it is to neglect it, but they are definitely wrong about it. They assume that it is just the reaction of the divorce and that if they will ignore it, it will basically go away on its own. If this is new bad behavior that you have never addressed before, figure out an appropriate impact and then follow through. The important factor children need during now is consistency. They need to know that some factors won’t amend – your care for them, and the guidelines and limitations that have always endured.
Don’t admit defeat to guilty parent syndrome
After divorce, parents feel guilty for the damages that caused with their child’s lifestyle. Usually dad who has few day visitations will have this syndrome and will ignore misbehavior and will take and enjoy his time with the kids into a large party setting no rules to be followed since it is understandable that they felt guilty to what you bring to your child’s life about your divorce, it is also obvious that they wanted their limited time to be fun as much as possible but they also need to keep in mind that they are still a parent and part of responsibilities as a parent is to discipline them and set rules. If you’re the permissible parent, don’t give up to recognize stress from your child when he or she comes home referring to how much fun the other mom’s or dad’s house was. You’re not contending with your ex.
Back up each other
It can be enticing especially if you and your ex don’t get along to challenge your ex. You might feel the encouragement to tell your kid that their other mother or father shouldn’t have penalized them for whatever violation, even when you know that you would have penalized them for that violation in just the same way. It might annoy you to acknowledge it with your ex; you have to do it when it comes to discipline. If you truly think a penalty is unjust, talk about it with your ex without the children hearing it.
Consider treatment
Some mother and father consider treatment is just a term. They do not think of it as a choice. If you think about it, though, most partners try marriage guidance before they end up to divorce. Therapy for your kid is no different than the marriage guidance you may have tried. A specialist can help your kid show their emotions and then cope with them properly. They can also help your kid understand how to connect with you better – and since acting out and misbehavior can be caused by disappointment with not being able to connect successfully, this can be very beneficial.
Consider parenting/child sessions
Consider parenting/child sessions
Many mother and father experience upset by this, and at first look, for them, it suggests that choice to divorce indicates they don’t know how to be a good parent. But parenting sessions are designed toward a divorce family members – it covers details on how to successfully co-parent, manage visitation rights and many other subjects that are particular to being a single parent. The sessions for kids will help them to better comprehend what’s happening. The trainer will be able to provide your kid nonbiased details – details that you may not be able to successfully offer because you aren’t sure what you should and shouldn’t say to your children.
Looking for help is not an indication of unawareness, for you to help with your problems related to parenting issues on acting out and misbehaving children, visit the following links and try to reach out these contact information:
For therapeutic and counseling services for families struggling for life’s challenges to which will help heal, fix problems, find solutions and grow stronger, visit counseling corner inc. in their parent’s corner at www.counselingcorner.net to where it will help you how to help your children cope up to divorce. You may also call them at 407.644.5437 (KIDS)
407.843.4968 (Adults and Couples), fax: 407-447-4543, reach them via e-mail at [email protected] or visit their primary location at 1630 Hillcrest Street
Orlando , FL 32803
For counseling services on parenting education, divorce recovery, marriage, families, etc, visit The Life Development Center at www.theldc.org or contact them at 5357 Chapel Hill RD Douglasville, GA. 30134 or call them at 770-942-4742 or e-mail at [email protected]
For other websites for children of divorced parents, visit the following links:
www.divorceinfo.com
www.life.familyeducation.com
www.aacap.org
www.focusonthefamily.com
www.kidshealth.org
Stresses of Single Parents: How to Handle Stress
How to Handle Stress
Being a single parent can carry stress to the job of raising kids, you are conscious of the obligations you have to deal with your household. The scenario can be sad and most of the time, it can be traumatic too. You alone have to take health care and you have no one to help you do this, no one to discuss day-to-day obligations or decision making, single mother and father must offer higher assistance for their kids while they themselves may feel alone. If stress is not handled effectively, it can make single parents to become less efficient. There are periods that you just need time to slowly down and think of possible methods to deal with pressure. By studying how to deal with stress, you would be able to go through your desired lifestyle with a better perspective for you and your household. Enjoy being a single mom with these helpful tips to handle stress:
Manage time wisely
Mother and father these days, especially moms, always feel hurried much of the time, as they take kids from sport practices or to music training, look for events and play times. And this does not include family and work responsibilities! Plan everything you do on an hourly basis to get things done. Once you learn how to control your time, you will find looking after your kids more pleasant and have a longer period to spend with them as well. Apart from that, you can complete all your tasks and go to sleep with a satisfaction that you have done everything that needed to be done. Being structured, handling time wisely, and learning to say no to actions that are not a top concern can open up more family connection, leisure and, well, peace of mind.
Be smart on your expenses
As we all know, raising children is expensive! Raising a family relying only to one income, or counting on to your ex-spouse for your children’s support can be one of the challenging factors of being a parent alone. Learn how to manage your budget, know when your income or other earnings will arrive and keep a record of family expenses. The economic cost of raising children can take a psychological cost in the form of cash problems. Learning to control finances methods can give you more economical options and keep you less burdened about your funds and your future. Do what you can to enhance your financial situation. If you need a job, contact career and short-term organizations for help, plan for college and learning, and, if possible, enhance your generating power by going back to institution or getting additional job.
Set up a support organization
All individual mother and father need help — whether it’s someone to look at the children while you run out to do tasks or simply someone to discuss to when you sense you are besieged. While it’s appealing to try to deal with everything alone, ask buddies for help. Don’t try to deal with everything by yourself. You will need the assistance that other families and friends can give. Get to know other single mother and father through organizations. You could be a part of a single-parent assistance team, or if your budget can handle, seek the services of a reliable caregiver to help out with the children or someone to help you with household chores.
Spend time for yourself
Spend time for yourself
Many single parents ignore to put themselves on the record of people that needs to grow and develop. Having an activity or other innovative means can help you reduce stress, rise up your mood, and sustain your identification as a person and not just a mother or father. This can help you keep your kids life in position and cope with some of the fear and pressure that comes from being a single parent. The time you will invest away from your kids is essential for you and for them. Being a single parent doesn’t mean you can’t have a life. Get a nanny and appreciate yourself being alone or with friends. Do things that you like, go and watch a film or find an activity that will somehow feed your soul and forget all the things that will stress you up even for a while. Establishing a little time for yourself provides you with a great opportunity to refuel.
The ensuing resources can make available for extra information and support that will help you handle almost everything you need as a single parent.
Women’s Institute for Financial Education is a non-profit organization helps women learn to manage their money, invest and save wisely, plan for college and retirement, become “fiscally fit,” dedicated to providing financial education to women in their quest for financial independence, and more; visit them through www.wife.org, call them through phone number: (760) 736-1660 or you can mail them at:
WIFE.org
PO Box 910014
San Diego, CA 92191
For a web site provides links to organizations, resources, research, and articles of interest to single parents, visit Parents Without Partners at www.parentswithoutpartners.org. Contact them by email by using the link for general inquiries, membership inquiries, and ethics and grievance inquiries and for news and events at www.parentswithoutpartners.org/contact.html or call their information line at 800-637-7974.
www.completemom.com is a website created by Sheila Ellison, the author of “The Courage to Be a Single Mother and The Courage to Love Again”. It offers a wealth of parenting information and helps women find or create single-mother support groups in their area. Contact them through this link: http://sheilaellison.net/contact/
For finding support and information to women who are considering or who have chosen single motherhood, either through conception or adoption and the opportunity to create a unique virtual and local support network of your peers, visit Single Mothers by Choice at www.singlemothersbychoice.org or mail them at PO Box 1642, New York, NY 10028 and may call them through phone number (212) 988-0993.
How to Discipline Children as a Single Parents: Focusing on Moms
How to Discipline Children as a Single Parent
Sometimes, it is hard for parents on how to discipline their children; they often wonder whether they were too strict or not to their children. Single parents feel plagued to have lots of household tasks together with the stress of not having a spouse to talk to and when stress rises up, it will be hard for them to cope up with the discipline problems; children’s naughtiness also adds stress. Single moms often find single parenting intimidating at its best and terrible at worst; though this is not true to all and you they may not disciplined their child before their divorce, still, there are somehow best key principles they can go after to discipline their child as a single mom, just think about what you want to teach them and what will they possibly learn by just watching your behavior. You can build your own effectiveness on how to discipline tour children trough using these wide-ranging ideology.
Lucidity of rules
Make that your rules are clear to your children because this will benefit you and your children of not having the ignorance as an excuse. If you are always making it clear to what you expect as well as the consequences for not living up to these outlook, you will be able to discipline them clearly and make sure your children knows what to do and what are the things not to be done.
Stability
As a mother, you should create your actions speak louder than the words you utter by means of constantly following through on self regulation. You have to implement restrictions firm and constant, if you impose your rules irregularly, they will never recognize if you really mean what you say. Your stability in setting your rules must be clear to your children especially if you and your children’s dad is still involved in their lives, they have to understand that you have your own rule to be followed and their dad has his rules also, you still need to be obvious about the point that you have different rules you have to anticipate to be followed in your home.
Deciding battles
When it comes to disciplining your kids, you have to make sure that you are doing it for the right reason all the time. This means, you should not pay any attention to a large amount of less-disgraceful behavior in order to focus on one more serious problem. Decide the right battle in order for you to give your children the right lesson they should get from you or else, you will end up yelling to them all the time and they will not take your discipline seriously.
Set Limits
reasons why rules are to be followed
Encompass only some limits; the important part is that you must to explain why a rule is significant. Let them know that the rules don’t just come about by chance and that there’s always the reason why such rule is important and needs to be followed. Some of the many reasons why rules are to be followed is to keep them and others to be safe as well as to show respect to others.
Focus on do’s not on don’ts
Say the things you wanted on a positive ways so that your child will know exactly what to do. Instead of saying “do not put your things anywhere” say, “put your things on its right place”. Celebrate your child’s success, give your child attention when he or she accomplishes something good or when they followed your rules not just when they behave badly. Let them know how happy you are when they help you with something even in small things, in this way, they will feel good about themselves.
Build self image
How you communicate and your ways on how you discipline your child is important in the development of your child’s self esteem. When they misbehave, separate the behavior of the child and ask question. Use “I” messages to convey how you feel about their behavior. This will help them realize how their behavior affects others. As a mother, you must understand that children misbehave because they can’t control their emotions and you can help them to express their feelings by taking about what they feel. You must also take into account that children needs to feel that they are loved, special and important though you have to respond when they misbehave, it’s just so important to pay attention to the behavior you approve.
It is normal for single parents to encounter difficulties on how to discipline their children especially to single moms. If you are a single mom seeking for help, here’s some information you might need to assist you with your problem.
For practicing safe and positive single parenting across America, visit http://loveourchildrenusa.org or call them at 212.629.2099 or Toll Free1.888.347.KIDS (5437) for more parenting education, visit http://loveourchildrenusa.org/parentinged.php
For single parent coach and for single parents as well in acquiring skills to manage regulation and reprimand and reduce conflicts, visit Telephone coaching for positive parenting at www.parentingsupportline.com or call them at 617-257-3241 for professional parent coaching and parenting help.
Ask the internet therapist also offers ideas on how to discipline your child. You can visit them at www.asktheinternettherapist.com or reach them at AskTheInternetTherapist.com JefGazley, M.S., LMFT, DCC6540 E. Kelton Ln, Scottsdale , AZ 852541-866-998-0560
For time tested solutions, practical advice, and parenting guidance, visit Thriving Family to which they serve single parents, extended families and blended families to reflect on God’s design and help equips parent to raise children according to biblical principles. You can keep in touch with them with this link: www.thrivingfamily.com and can contact them through e-mail [email protected] Telephone: (800) A-FAMILY (232-6459), and through letter: Thriving Family Focus on the Family Colorado Springs, CO 80995.
Having a Social Life as a Single Mom
Having a Social Life as a Single Mom
Spending time for work, children and socializing with others isn’t easy for any married individuals, and when you are a single mom, it becomes even more difficult but it is possible to have a social life even if you are a single mom, many women have gone through the same direction with success and gained the benefit for both themselves and the children. Socializing with others as a single mom does not actually mean dropping off the children to hit the city. You can somehow include your children in some of your activities when you get to socialize with people and this actually do a dual purpose. Social time as a single mom is crucial to your psychological health; you need public relationships as well as promoting your own mature relationships. Whether you feel you are lacking of having a social interaction because of your limited time, you can still get over these problems and get to discover to have a social life for yourself.
Talk to other single moms online or within your community and discuss ideas about social interaction as a single parent
Communicating through the internet is a form of social interaction since there are lots of single mom group forums and sites you can be a part of and they are amazing sources for asking questions, getting information and simply sharing your stories about your experiences. You’ll learn how other single parents find time for themselves and some of their guidelines might work for you too. Even an event can be as simple as single moms getting together in the local eating place or something more intricate as planning childcare and going to an eating place, pastime, films or whatever you’re all interested in doing together.
Take that having social interaction is also important for you
Never use the reason that you’d rather be with your kids all time instead of having time for yourself, you may have swayed yourself that this is the way for you out of obligation but it’s not healthy for your kids to have only you as their only source of friendship in their life. They will also get the advantage being with other people and you will also understand how to interact socially with others again! This also contains the idea of getting rid of thinking that having some time for you is being self-centered. It’s both regular and healthy to want social interaction with other and to engage in things that you appreciate and having fun without the kids is completely affordable one, just think of the advantages such as being more empowered as a single mom with restored energy, having time to find good things about yourself and rediscovering your most loved social relationships.
Make things happen
Having a social interaction doesn’t occur unless you choose to make it happen and that includes preparing to do something for yourself. Plan when you’d like time to have social interaction on your calendar; perhaps once per week or monthly it’s up to you and to what you feel that is attainable on your situation. Do not think that it’s too hard and that you have to set it aside for next year; preparing allows you to set the objective, cope with everything; once you allow yourself to think this way, it will begin to drop into place.
Lower your family requirements, do not try to make everything perfect when doing household task; clean enough rather than perfect, this will help you to have extra time for yourself.
Make new friends
Making new friends
If getting back into dating is your thing, don’t think twice. Using the internet, you will discover your desire that will suit you after getting to know one another a little online. It isn’t just single moms with children who depend on online connection it’s actually a practical choice for many individuals. It is also important for you to be genuine and sincere, if you hit it off with someone, let them know from the very first time that you’re a single mom and if they don’t agree to the situation you are in they probably don’t have enough time to spend on them. Discover someone who has children too; they get what you’re suffering from and will be the ones who understands you well.
Starting off with your social interaction with others isn’t simple. It definitely needs some deliberate actions and a lot of attempt. However, it is all worth it; effort, time and energy it will cost you to develop significant relationships into others and shift beyond the unpleasant “lonely single parent” sensation you described. Below are some helpful information you might need in starting to have social interaction with other single parents.
Visit Meetup.com at www.meetup.com , the world’s largest network of local groups with tons of social group for any interest that make it uncomplicated for anyone to sort out a local group or get one of the thousands that are already meeting up face-to-face with more than 9,000 groups that get together in local communities every day, each one with the aspiration of improving themselves or their society.
Gwinnette Single Parents for parents and kids, a group to help single or separated parents and not yet single parents meet new friends and form a support network; it is also a means for kids to meet others in the same circumstances. Visit them at www.meetup.com.
Robin’s Solo Parent Network, an online social club for single parents to meet other single parents. Dedicated in making healthy changes and relationships where single parents can share and provide resources, update, initiate and contribute help for the lives of other single parents. Visit them at www.soloparentsnetwork.com
Single Parents Network, provides hub that has collectively gathered single parent web sites, articles, information, government resources, online discussion forum support boards, books and so much more, for anyone looking for single parent information. Visit them at www.singleparentsnetwork.com
Surviving Single Parenthood: Tips on How to Carry on as a Single Parent
Tips on How to Carry on as a Single Parent
Taking care of a child can be a very difficult phase in an individual’s life. Fortunately, a lot of individuals have a partner to help them take care of their child and attend to its different needs. There are cases, however, when the person is doing it all alone and at most times they are either too young or too broke to provide sufficiently for their child. Perhaps they got separated from their partner, got pregnant at an early age, or their partner suddenly dies at a very young age. Whatever the reason for their predicament is, single parent is undoubtedly a very difficult task to achieve.
But is single parenthood impossible? Well, the answer to that is an all-resounding “no!” as there are several effective tips on how to carry on as a single parent. Read on and find out how you can take care of yourself and attend to the needs of your child all at the same time.
- Pull Yourself Together
Before advancing on to other tips on how to carry on as a single parent, it will be good idea if you can maintain a blameless mindset at all times. The rigors of single parenthood may force you to point your fingers at the person or the object that you think is to blame for all of this. You may blame your former partner for leaving or being reckless, you may blame the peer-pressure that led you to this situation, or you can even blame yourself for not choosing the right decisions, but you must always think what is done is the past can never be undone.
Blaming can force you into a state of helplessness and self-pity that can do nothing for the needs of your child. It will be better to shift your focus away from your past and start looking into what your child needs. - Plan
Taking care of a child’s every need takes a lot of attention and dedication on your part. This means that you have to have a clear goals and objectives for a single day. Create a daily schedule which lists everything that you have to do for a certain day in detail. Additionally, you must commit yourself in following your schedule since a single slip can have great consequences for you and for your child. Also, you must always keep your eyes on your child as they can be very unpredictable at an early age. Thus, be flexible enough to adjust your schedule if there are any emergency that will arise. - Prioritize
One thing that you must also add on your tips on how to carry-on as a single parent is sacrifice. Responsible single parenthood is never for the immature and the selfish. Taking care of a child may call you to sacrifice your personal needs and wants on a daily basis just to give the child what they need. If you are used to buying what you want, having night-outs with friends or even taking a walk on your own, it is a must that you shift to a higher level of thinking as there is another person that you have to think about at all times. - Handle Finances Effectively
This list of tips on how to carry-on a single parent recognizes the fact that expenses is one of the most important things that you have to look into when you are taking care of your child. It is a good idea if you could save money from time to time so that you could have funds when there are emergencies. It is better that you should find a job when your child is old enough to take care of themselves or you have someone else that can take care of them for you while your away. Also, spend on the things that really matter for your child. What the child needs is clothes, food and instructional material. It may come back to haunt you later when you spoil your child with everything that they want at an early age. -
Take time to Relax and Have Fun
Single parenthood requires that you assume multiple roles-all at the same time. For any person, this enough would drive them insane. These tips on how to carry-on as a single parent is aware that you also need time to replenish and have fun, if for a very short moment. Take the time to take care of your needs as you may not be able to take care of your child if you forget your needs too. Better yet, have the child join you on your fun. Learn to enjoy reading a bedtime story to them, join them in their games and teach them how to discover their talents and abilities. You may treat them to a restaurant or a movie, a visit to their grandparents, and even a play date with other children. - Get Help from Friends and Family
Single parenthood can be overwhelming for a person. It is then important to realize that you cannot do this alone. You can always seek help from your parents as they know what you are going thorough better than anyone else. You can even gain strength from a network of friends who can lend a hand and even take care of your child just to give you few moments of rest. If you have an at-least civil relationship with the child’s other parent, you can even have your former partner help as they have the same responsibility to the child as you have.
The requirements of Single parenthood can be tough but it can be bearable. You only need to draw from every strength that you can muster and follow these tips on how to carry-on as a single parent to heart. In time, you shall be able to take care of your child and assume an active part in their growth and development.
Children and Divorce: What to tell your Children
informing children about separation and divorce
When it comes to informing children about separation and divorce, many mother and father find difficulty in doing it. They keep from informing their children why they are splitting up because they think it places the children in the center of an unpleasant scenario. But in actuality, children who are offered with a logical age-appropriate description will learn that separation and breakup is caused by an expected mistake. As always, your aim is to protect your kids as sincere as you can. However, kids who are informed nothing about the factors for their parents’ separation and divorce are needlessly disappointed and have a more difficult time on how to get things through. Telling the kids that you are going to separation and divorce and why it is the hardest aspect of the household meeting is only the start because they need to have accurate and tangible details about how their life will transform. Make the discussion a little simpler on both yourself and your children by planning it considerably before you sit down to discuss. If you can predict challenging concerns, deal with your own stresses in advance, and plan properly what you will be informing them, you will be better outfitted to help your children manage the information.
What and How to say it
Always tell them the word “I love you”, simple to hear, but letting your children know and feel you love them will remain to have a powerful impact. Tell them you will still look after them in every way you can. Your kids are worthy to know why you are getting a separation and divorce, but long-winded factors may only mix them up that is why there is really a need of telling them the truth. Choose something easy and sincere, like “We cannot get along any longer.” You may need to tell your kids that while there are time parents and kids don’t always get along, parents and kids don’t quit adoring and loving each other or get separated from each other. Lastly, addressing changes will also be an important factor. Anticipate your children’s concerns about changes in their life by recognizing that some factors will be different now, and other factors will not. Let them know that together you can cope with each detail as you go through.
Find the accurate words to say
Give yourself and your divorcing partner adequate time to find out what should be the the things you ought to say about your divorce before discussing the whole thing with your children. If you need help on determining what should be the right things and the right words to use in explaining your separation to your children, it is best if you discuss these factors with your consultant or with a psychologist to better assist you regarding your problem. Take additional needs for making sure they realize that it is not their mistake because some children, especially the young ones often believe that their mother and father are battling because of something they did and now the battle has gotten so big. Plan the things you will both say so that your children will not take in mind that the other parent is bad or good. If the details they are given is adverse and they believe one mother or father is hurting the other, it is a challenging pressure for them to keep. Children believe in commitment and when they are requested to have separated loyalties it is very complicated and often triggers the child to become upset for being put in the middle.
Tell your children together with your divorcing partner
When you tell them together, it reduces the chances that they will get different details or tell each of you something different about their responses. If possible, you and your partner should tell your kids about your separation and breakup together, even if it needs to place your bitterness aside for a while. The most powerful message you want your kids to know is that while your connection with their other parent is changing, you are both still their mother and father and that will not change. You will express to them that although your marriage is over, you can still work as their mother and father, and that they still have a household just a different type and you will both stay definitely involved in their life.
For helpful information that will offer you on how to make your children understand issues of your divorce, visit the following sites and contact information:
Kids in the middle, a non-profit organization helps children, parents and families thrive during and after divorce through counselling, education and support. Visit them at www.kidsinthemiddle.org. Kids In The Middle main office is located at:
121 West Monroe Avenue
Kirkwood, MO 63122
Phone: (314) 909-9922
Fax: (314) 909-1831
Email: [email protected]
For online divorce recovery support group with divorce help, advice, tips, divorce law, statistics and information, visit www.divorcerecovery101.com and for over 300 helpful divorce articles, lessons, tips and tools to “move on” from divorce, visit divorce recovery article site map at www.divorcerecovery101.comsite_map.html or visit them at:
223 N. Minnesota Ave. Sioux Falls
SD 57104
Phone number: 605- 335- 4125
AZ Office: 408 838-6955
Cell Number: 605-376-4125
Fax Number: 605-335-6649
E-mail at: [email protected]
For parenting tips on how to protect your kids from divorce and parenting advice form Dr. Laura Markham, visit www.ahaparenting.com or contact Dr. Markham at www.ahaparenting.com/contact
For informational purposes on seeking help, advice, and community for people who are going through or recovering from divorce and the issues around it like child support, custody, etc., visit www.divorce360.com
For things you need to know about raising children, relationships, marriage and parenting particularly on how to tell your children about your divorce, visit “Telling It Like It Is” at www.tellinitlikeitis.net