Single mothers are really busy people. They work many hours a day to provide for their kids and most of the times they also do a lot of the housework especially when kids are still small. However, it would be a burden for a single mother when her kids are already growing up but still would not do what they supposed to do to help. This is the problem of most single mothers, growing up children that are not independent.
Essentially, the problem of rearing children that are not independent is not actually the fault of the children themselves. The single mothers could not also be blamed totally because they have bigger responsibilities in earning money to live through hard times. However, mothers can still do something to make their children grow independently. On the other hand, kids should also realize they need to have sense of autonomy which if that happens would bring a lot of comfort on the part of the single mothers.
Why You Need To Train Your Kids Becoming Independent?
Basically, kids who are not inherently independent generally lack self-confidence and self-worth which in a way can affect their character and outlook in life. They may sometimes lack the motivation to grow professionally when they get older. They will also lack the courage to compete so they may get deficient in achieving their goals. And sadly, kids who would always rely on their parents even in their grown-up years could experience setbacks when they need to live on their own.
But take note, making your kids become independent is not all about work. It is also a way of creating the kids’ self worth that they learn to rely on their skills, instincts and sense of judgment. As you train your kids to be independent you may see them striving at first and see their impatience but this would be part of their training so make them realize that nobody’s helping them in the future but themselves. Train them slowly but surely and they will understand that they can gain something from it.
If you are a single parent or a single mother, here are the tips you can consider to help your kids realize they can do a lot of things on their own. It is not only lifting out some of the burden off your shoulder when your kids don’t rely too much on you anymore but you are also making them becoming more responsible individuals.
Means of Teaching Your Kids to be Independent
- Give them their responsibilities.
When your children are a bit growing up and can do small things at home give them house chores around the house. First, show them how to do their house tasks the proper way then watch them how they do it. Training them regularly can automatically instigate an auto-response in them and they will automatically move about when they see that their tasks are waiting for them.
- When kids encounter problems, ask them questions and let them solve it.
By asking them questions when they are faced with problems you are helping them to figure out solutions so you are making them become analytical, creative and smarter. Avoid solving the problem for them and instead encourage them to use their logic. Ask for their opinions on how they can solve the problem themselves then provide them the tools and guidance if necessary.
- Tell your kids that failures are lessons that need to be learned.
Don’t show you pity your kids when they fail with their tasks. Instead, show an encouraging face and tell them they can do it again and the next time they must be better. Tell them that failures do happen and part of the learning process.
- Create routines.
Routines are not just about schedules of kids for housework tasks but also their routines on just about anything from their time to sleep, doing their homework and thanking God at the end of the day. Once you build up routines on kids, you build discipline in them and your kids can naturally create their own routines which provide a leeway for them to become independent.
- Always be there when your kids need support.
Although your task is to train your kids to be independent, don’t fail them when they need your moral support. As a mother, you can be your kids’ guidance counselor, friend and most of all, their mother whom they can always rely for directions. This goes to say that if you are a strong and independent mother, your kids can learn a lot from your sense of determination.
- Praise your kids for their effort.
Even your kids fail your expectations with any task, praise them for their effort. As such, persuade them to be better the next time. Praises are priceless encouragements. They make kids feel their self-worth. And once your kids get better, they can do a lot of good things which you do not even expect.
- Show your kids you are an ideal role model.
Since your kids look up to you and you are training them to be independent, show them what independent adults should do when they are faced with certain situations. Imbibed in them that independence is to be self-reliant and standing on your own feet. As a single mother, your kids will understand what you mean. So teach them how to set their goals and work on it until they succeed.
Teaching kids to be independent can be the single mothers’ best contributions to their children. They are the ones who mold their children to be better persons so it is up to you how to develop your kids into stronger, self-reliant and confident individuals. So as a single mother, consider these tips if you want your kids to grow like mature and independent individuals.