Single mothers nonetheless always give everything they got when working for the sake of their children. Though some of them have good jobs to enable them to pay for their children’s needs, a lot of them, however, do not actually have regular jobs which make single parenting a heavy burden to surpass. Even so, there are still ways to help single mothers meet ends and be able to overcome financial hardship if they only know what to do.
Basically, single moms can rely on federal assistance programs which are established to help single parents thru various ways. There are the educational grants for single moms to assist those who want to finish their higher education and be employable. There are also the housing grants and loan grants coming from government housing programs and independent institutions which can extensively assist single mothers have their own homes or pay their rents or even put up their businesses.
Single Moms Homebased Jobs
Single mothers are always resourceful in gathering up the source of their income. However, they cannot always rely on outside sources when it pertains to their daily needs and expenses. This is why they still have to have their own jobs so that money can keep coming in. Nevertheless, what if they can’t leave their children alone at home? Aren’t there any chances they can find jobs to support their kids? Actually, there are always the ways to earn income for single mothers even if they have to stay home and that is having homebased jobs. On the other hand, single moms who must deal with homebased jobs must at least know how to use the computers and exploit the use of the internet. There are the online jobs or freelance writing jobs that are always available. There are also the data entry jobs, virtual assistant jobs, customer service and a lot more.
Unfortunately, there are also a lot of scammers on the web that are in constant lookout for those who are also searching for jobs and most of the times single mothers fall into their traps. If you are a single mom and wants to find legitimate jobs and other opportunities on the web, you must then be aware on what to do to prevent getting scammed and get only jobs that can suit your time and qualifications. So here are more tips for you.
Things To Remember When Single Moms Search For Homebased Online Jobs
- Browse the web first and list down jobs that you are capable of doing while at home. Listing down the jobs you can do at home can shorten your time in creating your resume. Added to this, you can also prioritize the jobs that interest you. Once you find the jobs you want, check the schedules of the work as well as the income. Don’t apply for jobs that require too much work but shortchanged you for your hard work.
- Before you finalize your resume, list down your best qualifications. Employers always choose their online employees based from their qualifications. For instance, if you are applying as a customer service representative, indicate your experience if there is any. If there is none, you must say you have an available 24-hour internet service, a reliable computer and a telephone and a pleasant voice to do the job.
- Don’t expect too much with your first job. Homebased jobs are usually simple jobs so they are not as arduous as the actual jobs so you get to get paid according to what you can complete or submit. So sometimes it can take you a lot of experience before an employer pays you highly as you can do more jobs easily. You can also take two online jobs at the same time if you know how to juggle your time and can still produce efficient output.
- If you still have small kids to tend to, tell this honestly to your employer. There are employers that are considerate enough to create a schedule for your work while they understand your situation as single mother and caring for a small child. Or you can hire a baby sitter for few hours every day if you really need someone to look up to your kids while you are working in your room.
- Always be honest with your employer. Honesty can usually land you the job you want as most employers require their virtual workers to be true to them. For example, if you are applying for a job that requires you to have a powerful computer and yours is just a standard laptop, tell this honestly to the employer. You never know that he may have other jobs for you to do but he would hire you because of your sincerity.
- Don’t take jobs that will require you to undergo a lot of training but not get paid. There are online jobs that really need many hours of training to let you master some procedures. That’s alright if that can make you more reliable. However, you should get paid for you time while training if it requires you to focus on it for many days. If the employer would not want to pay you for it, look for other opportunities online as there are a lot of them.
- Avoid jobs that will require payments from you in order to get hired. Pay now and get hired is such a big sign that you have entered a scam site. You are looking for a job to earn income and not to pay before you get hired. Most data entry jobs are easy jobs and this is the kind of jobs that scammers usually use to trap job hunters.
If you can remember these tips, you may eventually find a job that will suit your qualifications as a single and a working mother at the same time. Only, be aware of the telltale signs that some online companies offer on the web. For instance, if a certain employer or a company is hiring a virtual assistant and is offering a $25 an hour, you must do your research about the employer and the company. Usually, jobs online don’t pay too much unless you ought to do a professional job that requires higher education and vast experiences. Moreover, if you are a hardworking single mother, you surely can support your kids once you find a job suitable to your qualifications.
Whenever we hear a woman saying she is a single mother and have a child, we can’t keep ourselves from thinking she is probably having a hard time in her life. This is true because we all know that raising a family is hard so it is doubly hard for a single mother to shoulder all the responsibilities which she is supposed to be sharing with her child’s father. That said, raising a kid or kids is really a stressful situation where a single mom has no other course but to endure.
On the other hand, there are always ways wherein a single mom doesn’t need to experience hardships raising a child alone. Basically, all she must do is to find the support she needs to nurture her child. She must know that there are government institutions that provide assistance to single mothers like housing and food assistance. There are also grants for single mothers that can help them put up their own livelihood or take scholarships and finish their education.
According to experts, single mothers must only “stay positive” with their outlooks in life in order to surpass the challenges. They must not pity themselves and should not think that they are hopelessly burdened. They must remove from their conviction that they can’t find good jobs that can support themselves and their children and give them the proper education. They must also understand that their kids also experience psychological stress if ever they see their moms looking weighed down.
Dealing With The Kids
Nevertheless, sometimes it is the children who usually add to the pressing problems the single mothers are experiencing. It is also the kids that usually bother the mothers primarily because of their never ending questions that are hard to answer. And unfortunately, when kids would want the attention and their mothers don’t recognize this, the kids can develop emotional issues and may shut themselves up away from the real world. However, there are ways how single mothers can avoid this and make their kids better persons.
If you are a single mother and wanted to your child to grow as a mature, smart, sensitive and compassionate person, here are the essential things you must bear in mind.
- Don’t forget to express your love everyday to your child. While your child is still very young, kiss him more. Hug him when he needs comfort and talk to him when he wants to tell you something. You also need to praise him for the good things he do. Always provide him your support and unconditional love. When he grows up, have an open communication with him so he can see you as his greatest friend and a parent he can always rely on.
- Develop a structured discipline at home. Kids are easy to manage if they know that following discipline is crucial in your home. You can start by scheduling your meals and sleeping time and so on. Your goal is to imbibe in your kid’s mind that there are always things to expect at home to make things go smoother. So ensure that house rules must always be followed.
- Show your kid that you always prioritize your bonding together. Always have a time with your kid and play together. You can also read, watch TV, eat or go out together to let him feel the bond between you and him.
- If your child did something wrong and disciplined him, don’t feel guilty afterwards. It is you who want your child to grow as a disciplined person. So if he has committed wrongdoings, tell him that he was wrong. That he did hurt your feelings and might also hurt other people feelings if he won’t correct his attitude.
- If you have problems and your child knows it, show him you can deal with it positively. Remember that the moods of the mothers can easily be felt by their kids and they can also be affected by it. Just try to be honest with your kids if they ask you the matter but make sure that everything will get better.
- Always create an open communication with your kid. Being a mother, you know your kid has also emotional issues by just looking at him. Communication is the key to resolve your child’s issues. Learn the problem, understand it and provide the solution right on the spot.
- Teach your kid a bit of independence every day. Make yourself a good example to your kid that even you are alone you can deal with anything that comes your way. If you can do this, your child’s self-confidence can become stronger until he will learn to do things with a positive attitude. You can start by giving him tasks at home and praise him afterwards.
- Teach him to respect people. Showing of respect to others begins at home. There is what we call in every person the “show of breeding” which means that a person who grew in a decent family notwithstanding with a single parent, can show his reputable qualities if his parent has taught him well.
Raising a child alone is literally a difficult task. It is not only the lack of finances that make the single mothers feel depressed but also the fear of not bringing their children properly. However, these tips can help you raise your child correctly. Some say that individuals who grow up with their single mothers are more mature and open-minded than most people. This may be true because at young age, they have felt their mothers’ love even better while learning to understand the facts of life the hard way.
Being single mothers, there are a lot of things they should realize once they started dating again. Sure they can date anyone they feel can deserve their attention. They have every right to be happy and live their normal lives again. But unlike in the past when most people think single moms are difficult to build relationships with, these days, guys are a lot open-minded having single moms as girlfriends or as wives. However, there are few things that single moms should be aware of and tell their guys to avoid confusion or conflicts with their families.
Actually, it’s true that there is a variation between dating single women compared to dating single moms for the fact that single moms have most of the times limited moments with their boyfriends. Single moms also have big responsibilities with their children so they generally cannot give their full attention to their boyfriends all the time. And because of these, they should make their boyfriends aware of many things that are happening in their lives.
If you are a single mother and have a boyfriend, we feel that you must discuss to your boyfriend the following just to set everything straight and have a smoother relationship.
- Tell your boyfriend beforehand that among your top priorities, your children comes first. If your boyfriend is an open-minded person, he will understand you. Our civilized world now recognizes the rigid roles of single mothers in our societies. We now know that you must spend a lot of times and energy with your children to bring them up well. So you must tell your boyfriend that there will be times that you may not always be there whenever he wants to be with you. This may seem hard on your boyfriend but there are a lot of ways you can also show your love to him to make up for your lost times. You can make your dates special, call him more often, send him something he can appreciate or go somewhere with him and your kids if he agrees.
- If your boyfriend wants to live with you, tell him to give you time to think about it carefully. Though you think you know the guy, think carefully if you can really trust him and if he can really accept your kids and adapt to your family’s situations. Ask him as well, if he can adjust to your kids’ ways. Lots of couples lost their relationships due to the boyfriend’s not capable of adjusting to the single moms’ kids’ ways of doing things at home.
- Before you settle to stay together, ask your boyfriend if you can really trust him. Your boyfriend surely knows you have been into a rocky relationship that is why you are looking for someone whom you can really put your trust to. If he says he is ready to commit himself to you and to your kids, you may consider trusting him and stay with him. Give your boyfriend an idea also that you are the one he can also trust and spend his life with along with your kids for a very long time
- Trust your instincts but be open-minded. It is expected that your kids, or your siblings or parents may agree or go against your wish to live with your boyfriend. But it is you who can decide so better trust your instinct first and be smart before you settle down with a guy. Remember that your boyfriend becomes a member of your family once you agree to stay with him. Some single moms also ask the opinion of their kids if he can be the right guy to belong to their families and consider the kids’ ideas.
- Talk to your boyfriend that you alone shall discipline your kids. Some boyfriends when they began to familiarize themselves with the kids would want to impress discipline to their girlfriends’ kids as well. However, you must be aware that your kids may feel bad about this even if your boyfriend has a point with his actions. The best thing that you can do is to ask for your boyfriend’s support if you need it but he must leave every disciplining to you. You can also tell him that if there are some concerns that he wants to discuss about your children, he can talk to you privately about it.
- Tell your boyfriend he must be out of the scene when it concerns your ex. You know he would always want to help. But when it comes to your ex’s concern, you must handle it yourself and you must tell this to your guy. Things can get complicated if two men in your life collide. Even your ex is a past one, he still has the concerns with your kids and this is out of your boyfriend’s wall. If you and your ex are still battling in court, let you and your lawyer handle things and let not a third person meddle.
Single mothers should not let their boundaries too wide or too narrow when setting their limits for their boyfriends. But you as a single mom should always know better. If you know your boyfriend well, you will know every step you must make. Our point is, it is in having an open communication with your boyfriend if you want to build a more solid relationship.
For the single moms who are starting to date again, check also our article “Single Mothers’ Dating Mistakes” to avoid pitfalls when dating
Single mothers always need the help they can get from every government institution, private associations and organizations because they are some of the most deprived individuals in our societies. And when we say deprived, we also mean they are deprived of freedom to move about as they have the biggest responsibilities of rearing their children that deserve to have decent lives.
Problems That Hold Back Single Mothers
Basically, it would always seem so hard for single mothers to move on and live comfortably with their kids because of many factors. Here are the issues that usually hold them back and preventing them to enhance their lives.
- Most of them have insufficient education to bring them to better employments.
- They usually lack the experience to get good-paying jobs.
- For those who want to put up their own businesses, financial resources are a problem.
- They don’t have the home to secure their families thus finding homes would always be their priorities, and;
- Because of the hardship brought about by the above mentioned issues, financial constraints are always a problem.
Single Mothers’ Opportunities
Our government recognizes the single mothers’ dilemmas and this is why there are government institutions that have been put up to help them. There are now the government assistance programs for single mothers which cover medical assistance, financial assistance, and domestic energy assistance. There are also the food assistance, allowance assistance and unemployment benefit programs.
For pregnant single mothers and poor mothers with small kids, there is the Assistance for Mothers and Children Program and for the poor children of single mothers is the Food Assistance Program for Students.
Housing is also a very delicate problem to all Americans but housing problems bring more burdens to single mothers who are generally incapable of buying their own homes, paying their home mortgage or even paying their home rents. However, there are now the government Housing or Home Assistance Programs that can be able to offer housing opportunities to single mothers in many available forms like provision of soft mortgage loans, home rent assistance, or through affordable housing loans.
Securing Employments Thru Free Education
On the other hand, some mothers would want to secure their employments through their own ways especially those who don’t have the opportunities to pursue education due to lack of time or they still care for their small children. In this case, they would want to turn their interest by putting up their own businesses. Fortunately, we now have access to various programs that offer business grants for single moms. These grants oftentimes come from federal government programs and private financial organizations and the opportunities offered are available in the forms of financial supports or loans.
There are also corporation grants that come from multi-national companies like the nationally acclaimed retail stores, giant food chains and large manufacturing companies. These companies rely on people’s patronage so they just want to share their profits to single mothers that need help. Single mothers should not also forget the private lending institutions and banks which though they put interest on loans, should be able to help single mothers by providing capital loans provided that the single mother’s ideas for their businesses are viable.
If only the single mothers would know how to find resources and can identify how to have access to all the support they can get, every single mother in America that experience difficulties could have better lives and leave what they are experiencing today. In this time of advance technology, the Internet can greatly help and searching for the right groups, government programs, private institutions and organizations can only take moments to browse so much of these. All single mothers need is initiative, confidence and their will to have better lives.
Is there still a possibility to move on in life after a failed marriage? Fortunately, recovering after divorce and facing single motherhood is not an impossible task to do. There are a lot of methods and support organizations in which mothers can pull themselves back to their feet and resume on living life with their children. With these tips, you can be able to learn from the experience and come back as wiser and stronger person.. There are a lot of women out there who became single moms after their relationship with their husband is terminated. There are even cases when their troubles are doubled with the fact that they are left with children to feed, care and nurture. Divorce can happen for multiple reasons. In cases where mothers are left with the children, it usually stems from the other partner’s unfaithfulness, abusive behavior or mere incapacity to rear and take care of the children.
Single Once More
Attaining a single status, again, can have a lot of temptations for single mothers. These may range from having a night out with friends, the freedom to buy anything they want without a partner berating them for such and the chance to meet new friends and new potential partners. Though it is recommended that you treat yourself once in a while, it is better that you balance your newfound freedom with the responsibilities of a single mother as they are very important. There are a lot of instances in single parenthood that you are called to sacrifice certain things for your children.
Most single parents live in a pattern. They wake up, go to work, come home, care for her kids, and sleep. Sometimes, they don’t sleep at all. This leaves them exhausted to the point that they neglect their own needs. In addition, financial stress contributes in developing emotional problems. A single mom constantly worries about money. She frequently encounters the dilemma of paying her children’s tuition fees, rent, taxes, house bills, and buying basic needs of the family such as food and clothing.
Managing Stress as a Single Parent
Emotions are normal in a human being. Being a single mother does not necessary require you to be emotionally strong all the time. Know what you are feeling and accept these emotions. Keeping your feelings bottled up inside you only adds to the stress that you are experiencing. And ignoring it will just cause more damage than good. Do not be afraid to admit that you feel sad, lonely, or angry. Having these emotions is not something to be ashamed of. And, they do not mean that you are, in any way, weak. You are allowed to feel these things like any other person.
There are many ways in dealing with your emotions. You can do it yourself or with the help of others. One method is with the use of meditation. Take at least 30 minutes alone in a quiet room or area. You can use your own room or the garden as long as you feel at peace. Listen to music and do breathing exercises. Doing so helps in the improvement of your body’s circulation. It also relaxes your mind and your body. If you find it difficult to manage these feelings alone, ask for help from your friends and family. Talk to them about what you are feeling. Don’t be ashamed of letting them see your tears or frustration. Talking relieves you from your pent up emotions and eases the stress that you are feeling. Always remember that they are there to offer their support and help you with these challenges.
Learn from Experience
It helps them to look back at the past and learn from their experiences. With that, it might be better if you take a look at your failed relationship. Find out where it started to fall apart and look for the certain factors that lead to your eventual breakup. Single moms can even benefit from a bit of introspective as they are able to look into themselves as to where they may have been at fault and where they lacked in their relationship in their former partner. With this, divorce becomes less of a painful event and more of a stepping stone to a better future with your children.
Seek for Help
The Single Parents Alliance of America is geared towards helping single parents, especially mothers; adjust to their lives through financial aid, free legal advice and other very helpful services. You can go to their website at www.spaoa.org. You have to enlist as a member to fully enjoy the privileges unique to them. Single mothers can even go to the National Organization of Single Mothers to get aid for their single parenting concerns. Whether you are a single mother by choice or chance, the organization is willing to help you in your concerns. Visit their website at www.singlemothers.org and gain information on how they can help you through your parenting troubles. You can also contact the members and founders through the contact information at their site.
Support Groups for Single Mothers
- For more information on available support centers throughout the US, visit www.singlemothers.org
- Contact them at 1-855- 4A PARENT (1-855-427-2736)
- Or visit www.nationalparenthelpline.org for more details.
The Bane of Being Alone
You can just envision it. The rush to go home, the stop-over to pick up the kids, the hasty preparation for dinner; in the morning the routine goes on again, preparing breakfast, dropping off the kids to school or day care center, then off to your job. Repeat routine for five days. In the weekend, instead of relaxing your tired body cleaning up the house takes priority. Household chores rear their ugly heads and beckon you to attend to them.
Such is the routine of many women who live the life of a single parent. Having no partner to share the load of family life is a great challenge for female headed single parent families. Your kids will demand your time and attention for them; you will act both as a father and a mother to your children. A disciplinarian, breadwinner, nurturer, economist, housekeeper, mother, father… In families where both parents are living in one house, such roles may be split between the husband and wife. However, for single parent families only one individual will carry all the roles needed to run a peaceful household. True, single parents are disadvantaged with the lack of partner to buffer things in the household.
With a lot of things on your plate it’s no wonder many single parents report to be experiencing anxiety and stress in their everyday lives. If you are unable to juggle your multiple roles accordingly, conflict may arise especially if you are incapable of performing your expected role. You should know how to prioritize and give importance to each of your role.
Stress and the Single Parent
Today’s work reality expects an individual to labor 40-hour weeks or more in the workplace. In dual-income families when both parents are working, the burden of monthly bills and expenses is lessened because of the income of the mother and father. The same cannot be said to single-income families as the expenses of the household are paid for by a single paycheck. More often than not, single parent women work two jobs to make ends meet.
Adding to the financial burden will be the emotional toll single parenting will take on the individual. Kids, when they are old enough will begin to ask questions. Where is my father? Why doesn’t he live with us? They will begin to question the family arrangement they have. You have to be prepared for these questions. Never lie to your child, make them understand the circumstances of their birth. Even if you are not in good terms with their father, it will not help the emotional growth of your children if you begin to badmouth their father. It may be a nasty divorce or a relationship gone sour, but that case is between the two of you, your children have no part in it. So don’t alienate their affection towards the other half of their identity. Growing up is hard enough, growing with up clueless of their origin is unthinkable.
How to Combat Stress
Keeping a household running in tiptop condition requires skillful planning and maneuvering on the part of the person in-charge. In this case the person in-charge is you, the single parent. Being the sole person responsible for the care and welfare of your children, you need to have the proper tools to keep your health and sanity in good condition.
Here are some ways to help you achieve that goal:
- 1. Manage your finances – being the single person to provide for the needs of your children you need to be able to budget your income wisely. You can take steps to learn about investing your money for a long term goal.List Item
- 2. Time management – learn to appropriate time to different activities in a day, this way your child will know exactly what to expect. Maintaining a daily routine will also make you more organized.
- 3. Social support – everyone needs help in some point in their life. You as a single parent need the support of different people to help you raise a healthy child. Yes, it is tempting to mind your own business and shun other people, but it is better to have someone you can trust to watch over your child while you go out to some errands or just need someone to talk to.
- 4. Honesty-As your child grows, he will begin to question the family set-up he has. Be honest as possible in answering his queries. This can help him accept the reality of growing up in a single parent family.
- 5. Consistent discipline – rearing a child is not all fun and laughter, you will also need to discipline your child to become a responsible person. Be clear and precise on what you expect and lay down the rules. If the child has other caregiver, talk to caregiver on how you expect the child to be disciplined. Make one thing clear: You are the boss.
- 6. Don’t be guilty! – Abolish the thoughts of things you could have given your child, or the time you could have spent with them. Focus on your day to day achievements and revel on the achievement of being able to raise a responsible individual.
- 7. Quality time with your child – Don’t let work come in the way of spending time with your child. Isn’t the reason why you’re working is because of your child? Make sure you set aside time to connect with your growing son or daughter.
- 8. Love yourself- most important, do not forget to give yourself a break. Recharge every now and then by indulging in one of your favorite activities. Giving yourself me-time every now and then will prepare you to take on the challenges ahead.
Help is Just a click away
Divorce Care – is a support group for individuals who are undergoing divorce procedures or going through the effects of divorce or separation.
For more information visit their website at: www.divorcecare.org